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¿Question #1778?
puffinge: What's your favorite joke?

PandoraCaitiff: A man walks into a bar. Ooof!
SissyBell: a kid opens the fridge and sees a duck, so the duck says "i'm not a duck i'm a strawberry"
djdragon001: How do you keep an idiot busy? (Go to the next Geekquestion to find out.)
tankexmortis: My 3-year-old nephew: "Knock knock." Victim: "Who's there?" Nephew: "THERE'S A MONKEY POOPIN' ON YOUR HEAD!"
ricardofo: Shlomo Zylberstein wanted a rabbi to give a beracha (bless) to his brand new mercedes benz. Then sought an Orthodox rabbi and asked for the beracha. The rabbi apologized but said that as the Mercedes was an inanimate object could not give it a beracha. So the boy went to a Conservative rabbi. The rabbi looked at the Mercedes, thought, thought and said that could only give the beracha after studying the Talmudic sages. Disappointed, the boy sought a liberal rabbi. He explained the case and said he wanted a beracha for his mercedes. The rabbi, promptly said, of course, of course! But answer me one thing before: mercedes I know what it is .. but what is a beracha?
Paustian: The Danish state leaders
jessitron: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
vandemonium: How many puffinges does it take to ask a geek question?
HuckmanT: Q: What's green and has 16 wheels? A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
waza: This one
The Warp: What's the difference between a bartender and a rat? One serves you an exotic drink with an umbrella. The other eats a baby.
spacerx: why do you ask, two seagulls fighting over a clam?
Neil Thomson: Why did the chicken...
GameMeister: America, the land of the free.
Impr3ssion: That one! Hahahaha!
matthan: What did one bee say to her neighbor? Mind your own bee's nest.
DHEK: I can't tell you here. This is a family site. But it's pretty funny! Hee hee hee...
djflippy: Not big on jokes.
aleo09: the quizicle
arkibet: Yesterday a man walked into a bar, and it hurt!
Randp: in italian: "papà, papà che pesci sono quelli?" - "squali" - "squelli!"
POvidiusNaso: The Duck walking into a bar asking for Corn.
mspacman: A man visits the doctor, and says "Very well, you can undress now."
Ebon Wendigo: The Dali Lama goes up to a hot dog vender on the street and asks him to make him one with everything.
Sigisgrim: unfortunately it doesn't really work when written down; but one parrot turned to the other and said: "Can you smell fish?"
dougpartridge: what's the difference between a duck? one of it's legs are both the same
Leo-T: my existence
Nazhuret: "A guy walks into a bar... He say's 'Ouch!'"
GrimJester: The Universe.
Burnham: A guy bakes a pan of muffins. After the muffins had been in the oven for a while, one of them comments "It's getting pretty hot in here isn't it?". One of the other muffins responds "OH MY GOSH, A TALKING MUFFIN!".
eddyspaghetti: The one about the penguins.
[Deleted user]: ...the one about the lawyer, the priest and the nun...
brainrob: Punchline - "No, you're right enough missus, it's a doughnut."
Janiv: How do you tell the bride from the bride's mother at a Mormon Wedding? The bride's mother's pregnant!
flyinghogfish: One about balloons, though I can't be bothered to type it all out
ctgamer: So this baby seal walks into a club...
beakermyers: You gotta be kidding...
xlorp: Why do men have nipples?
fellonmyhead: Peter Sutcliffe's hammer!!
skrutsch: Knock Know (Who's There) Interrupting Cow (Inter) MOO (Laughter ensues.)
Belash: the one about the man and that thing he does
GrandpaDave: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Great Dane: depends on the audience
CharlieWonka: what do you call a fish without any eyes? Fsh
Reloaded: Brucey Bruce's bus joke... it's a physical one so I'd have to show you in person.
scriptorum: Puffinge, MisterCranky, and SDHockeyBoy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What's with the duck?" but it's too late, and the grenade I toss into the bar makes a board gamer stew on the floor.
MisterCranky: Jesus and Moses and the miracle contest.
The Unbeliever: 42
Thunder: Knock Knock
Gecko23: From a 4 year old: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ..... It Died!
Majiken: What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
mandj2001: What do a walrus and a tupperware dish have in common? They both like a tight seal!
dietevil: The "I can see your house from here" joke
Musti: Any original joke with an unexpected punch line.
erli: What did the pitchfork say to the walrus?
Lord_Prussian: A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. Bah dum dump.
snoozefest: na
jmagnini: what do you call cheese that belongs to somebody else? NACHO CHEESE!! heheheh
ValJor: That one that ends with "Yes, but she's black".
midgetsrawk: How do you get a nun pregnant? and the follow up How do you keep from getting a nun pregnant?
Aelf: One about two guys in a desert market that only sells bowls of mixed fruit, custard, cream with hundreds-and-thousands on top. It's a trifle bazaar.
Longbow: the one about the man that walks into a bar
berserkley: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Wintergoblin: Political jokes
puffinge: Good one, Randy. But I'm still going with Little Johnny.
djlg: I can't tell you. Its killed 14 people already.
Randy Cox: Wait, wait, maybe it's not Little Johnny in the shower with his mom... maybe it's the one where I hold up my hand, with index and middle finger up and others folded and I ask "why should every woman in Australia masturbate with these two fingers?"
haraggan: Two kids are hiding in the woods behind a church, masturbating, when the minister, out for a stroll, catches them. He tells them "don't you know that if you keep doing that, you'll go blind?" and then leaves them. The kids sit in silence for a while, and then one of them shrugs and says, "OK, let's just do it till we need glasses."
UhhhClem: The one involving tennis elbow and the do-it-yourself medical diagnosis vending machine. (Really.)
isolated: Too long to type here.
EndersGame: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson says: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks: "And what does that tell you?" Watson replies: ""Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes says: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent."
Favre4MVP: Anything with monkeys. Oh, and weasels.
AlorielLelyn: Lately it's been this one: Three doctors are discussing their practices. The first one says "I once had a patient come in that had sliced off 7 of his fingers. I reattached them, and 6 months later, he performed a piano concerto with the NY phil." The second one replies, "That's nothing... I had a patient come in who had his legs cut off. I reattached them and 6 months later he ran a marathon, winning the gold medal." The third doctor shakes his head and says "Doesn't hold a candle to mine. I had a patient who was a drunk, cocaine addicted cowboy that got hit by a train going 90mph. All I had to work with was a cowboy hat and a horses ass, and now he's the president of the United States..."
gnomehome: The funny one
sumo: Cheapass Games.
tragicpoet: Too long and dirty to type
jttm: This joke takes a while (and a dirty mind) to understand: Two nuns are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says "Where's the soap?" The second one replies, "Yes it does, doesn't it?"
Spielfreak: What's brown and sits on a piano stool?
Blackwind: The one yet told.
skelebone: The State of things.
chaddyboy_2000: I don't feel like typing it.
CDRodeffer: I have no sense of humor. No really.