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¿Question #1915?
JoeSteadman: Who are the two witnesses?

Hendal: what witnesses, yea they went on a long long long vacation
Randy Cox: Frick and Frack.
Woelf: You don't need to know that. All you do need to know is that they won't be a problem anymore.
ricardofo: me and you
Felimid: He is, or rather, they are? Which ones? I would choose two from this list: Dr. #2, #3, #4, #6, #7, #9, and #10.
vandemonium: I don't know but if you get me their names, I can help make sure there are NO witnesses if you follow me.
jessitron: MisterCranky and GAWD.
SaittaMicus: The Devil and God
Jythier: They're just Mormon's on their mission.
MadBrad: Oh crap! There were two?
abodi: ???
Bosco312: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
aleo09: don't know
WalkerRedEye: um me and you?
DHEK: The maid and the gardener.
monkeyrobot: Mk and FT
KnobDoctor: Beavis and Butt-Head.
scriptorum: Nuh uh uh! You mafia guys got me on that last time! Then my witnesses showed up dead. DEAD! First one mysteeeeriously chokes to death on the rat poison in his pasta fagiole. The second one, he's just walking along, minding his own business, to the courthouse, and oops forgot to check the roof of the opposing building, bing, he's dead. Like that. So ask me for the names and locations of the witnesses preparing to testify against you and I tell you and you kill them once, shame on you. But asking me who are the two witnesses then me telling you and you killing them in a horrific way while I'm back at the safehouse watching Joey cuz I forgot what time it was twice, shame on me!
Dimbus: I was told there were none. Dang, does that mean I have to hide two more bodies?
darcyj2: We don't know. Speculations include two of the following: Moses, Elijah or Enoch. However, we just don't know.
brainrob: Bill and Ben
confuse_a_cat: No names are given. I try not to rely too much upon my own exegetical powers if it can be helped.
skrutsch: Don't know.
richdknows: huh
jellospike: You and I. WE KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!! REPENT, PEOPLE!!! GAAH!
ecasco_online: I don't know
Belash: them
Dorque: Ma brother Earl, and her cousin Cleetus.
GrandpaDave: Amish people?
Ludocrazy: The convenience store clerk and the butler
sourwyrm: ?
Lord_Prussian: Um, witnesses to what?
Redneon: Those ass-holes wearing white shirts and ties and riding bikes?
familygaming: Oooo. I do agree that it is most likely Moses and Elijah, but I still think it would be cool if Enoch came becase he has never died yet.
The Unbeliever: 42
puffinge: Is this a bible question?
mandj2001: Young and ???
2amp: the amish kid & i forget the other
erli: A puffin and a carp
dpuskas73: To quote J. Hampton Keathley: "...The two witnesses are not literally Elijah and Moses (or Elijah and Enoch), but two men whom God will raise up in the spirit and power of their Old Testament counterparts. They are similar from the standpoint of their ministries, but similarity does not mean identity. Their ministries are similar because they are ministering to Israel and such similarity would carry great significance to the Jews."
tragicpoet: Ray charles & an Umpire. you're pretty much screwed
snoozefest: ?
LudesFactor: duh, i just answered the Humpty Dumpty question, you say there were witnesses?
TiNYTimIDFluffYBunnY: the tom and joe show?
ssmooth: To what?
djlg: You and the guy wearing a "I'm with stupid." tee-shirt.
Wintergoblin: no idea
BobDodgerBlue: You mean the two guys from Revelations?
gnomehome: Tom & Jerry
CDRodeffer: You and that other dude.
Blackwind: The kid and the amish girl.
CortexBomb: Bon Jovi and the deceased Pope
EndersGame: Depends on your exegesis of Revelation 11:3
chaddyboy_2000: The two people that witnessed it happen.
skelebone: The cook and the thief.
jttm: Them and them.
Spielfreak: Nobody has seen them.