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¿Question #228966?
mattomaw: One has to take an important photograph. Your client wants it instantly for some reason. It must be good quality and is very dependant on sunlight shining on the object. You maticulously set up the shot. There are clouds about, so you need that one moment when the sun is perfect. You wait. The sun comes! You get you phone ready. You get the shot set up. No wobbling. Ok, it's perfect. The press the screen to take the photo........ and for some reason it doesn't click! AARRRGGHH! I am wobbling again trying to steady my hand so I try again.... Ok... Press.... It doesn't do it again!! AARRGGHH!! WHAT THE HELL!!! OK stay cool try again.... Sun goes in... Missed my chance!! What expletives can one screech at one's phone to 1)Make you feel better, and 2) To tell the phone how much you hate it?

Grimsalt: My phones have done this also, it helps to rechristen them : "hateful block of anthracite, orthopedic wanking tool, Neanderthal earmuff brick, orangoutang wifebeater".
MABBY: That's why I have a camera. My phone stays in my pocket far more than it ever comes out of it.
RealGuest: Sometimes there is no substitute for a mechanical switch
pricero1: Your phone is laughing at you. It will tell every other phone that you walk past and then they will all laugh at you.
Woelf: I hate when digital cameras (especially phones) do that weird delay thing. The solution is to press the button at least eight times in rapid succession, in the hopes that it takes at least one of them correctly. Then release all the swears.
BOBBYCAN: "Píosa cac!". Since you're Irish now.
Derang3d: First off, *pat pat* here's something to drink. Second off, probably a long list of various diseases, body parts the diseases apply to (whether realistic or not), and a few explicit acts I imply the phone enjoys. Tho I'm quite fond of the loud "Nonde!" and "Gloeiende Tyfus!", which keep it short. Also, I have a Nokia, so I can throw the phone in such occasions. Good luck!