First | Prev || Next | Last
¿Question #4227?
Legend Dan: What's the best fortune cookie you've ever opened? Feel free to make up new ones.

Fribian: These were is for real: "You love Chinese food." And: "Error 405, fortune not found" (but I don't recall the exact wording of that one.
EgorjLileli: You will lead others to greatness. Dunno. Sounds good right?
Woelf: "Your Lucky Numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42"
jessitron: oh, i had a great one once, but I forgot.
Jet_Fire: my favorite fortune suggested I would receive blessings in bed
Phil Fleischmann: Actual fortune received: "Happiness through the joys of your sorrows." I have no idea what that was supposed to mean.
Wabete: I should have been born rich instead of so damned good looking
hob69: They're usually pretty lame.
2amp: never read'em
arkibet: "When the mouse is in sight of the cat, an escape must be nearby.
KrisVerbeeck: you can make an extra move this turn
tipigi: after finishing a meal.. "that wasn't chicken" (ok I stole that one from a funny email picture)
DHEK: "That wasn't chicken" (not a real one I've gotten, but I saw this in a comic once)
elirlandes: They're all equally wonderful.
mrspank: You will make love to three big breasted women simultaneously in the near future.
cluegirl: no one is going to believe me but seriously,...ignore previous cookie!,...and i am not joking either!
Leo-T: Inspected by #12
Skeletor: your going to eat chinese food today
scriptorum: "You like Chinese food."
Numskull: I don't know. I stopped eating fortune cookies when I got one that was so stale, I was able to unfold it into a perfect square without breaking it.
dmomo: When my girlfriend got one that said: you will have beautiful wife.
nibuen: the one where it said bad things are always around the next corner
Dorque: "Foolish human, monkey man MAKE you believe." Long version - was a fake fortune that came with a Penn & Teller book (the one that got recalled for disproving the grassy gnoll theory). You are supposed to ask people about their fortunes with this one palmed. Then you segue in to a story about voodoo that you saw on TV. Explain about the Monkey Man curse in whatever creative way you want. Then crack the cookie, drop the real fortune in your lap, and hold this one and stare at it with a look of dumb terror. Wait till someone grabs it from your hand and reads it. Good stuff. (I like to throw in a little monkey noise as they read it, and look surprised that it came out of my mouth.)
CMOT Dibbler: (actual fortune): Do not go out tomorrow. Do not ask why.
jasta6: Can’t remember, our Chinese joint closed this past summer.......
MisterCranky: They all taste pretty much the same, to me.
Chris Page: "When you grow up you will become an astronaut because in school you took up space." (Yes, I got that in a normal fortune cookie.)
Maraud: Help I'm trapped in a Fortune Cookie Factory!
Kazin: "That wasn't chicken you ate"
bigbadsteve: fortune cookies are always amusing if you add the words in bed at the end. it works every time
atlantean_tauri: I actually got this one: You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.
javelin98: "You should have had that rash checked out last week. This week, consider pricing out burial plots."
ssmooth: Once we got big steaming bagsful of food from the Chinese place and brought them home. When we got to the cookies, they had been in the steamy bag and so were all soft and limp instead of crisp. Naturally the first fortune said, "It is good to be flexible."
noon: "Someone who deserves special attention avaits your magical voice."
djlg: Perserverence will be rewarded with wisdom and eventually a copy of Reef Encounter in a thrift shop.
EDS Teioh: You will have a good fortune.
xlorp: That wasn't duck...
skrutsch: You have won $1000000. See the cashier for you prize money.
jttm: If you choose correctly between pretty girl and boardgame, much happiness will you find.
snoozefest: something like you have a potential urge for greatness
sos1: You will find true love on flag day.
POvidiusNaso: "Don't feed any weasels on the way to Lollipop land." Seriously.
chaddyboy_2000: Do your best in bed.
Lord_Prussian: Great question. I have no answer.
CDRodeffer: The cookie you just ate will induce vomiting in five, four, three, two...
skelebone: Either "You will buy some new clothes soon" or "It's about time you asked that special someone out on a date" -- which I got after I was married.
puffinge: You are dining with morons.
CortexBomb: A small gnome will make delicious veggie lasagna for you on the day of your demise