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¿Question #137?
MikeMKH: How do you come up with such witty remarks?

chaimw: With my wits.
pwilz: I work long into the night preparing for the next day.
oldhoss: I like turtles!
pricero1: Brits are genetically bred to be strange. Other strange people can interpret it as wit.
Narlgoth: Its a talent. No seriously, I spent 19 hours writing hundreds of words all over the floor with a red lipstick, then I get my cat, stroke it until it lies down, then give it a spin. I type the words that its legs point to when it stops.
Raptorbonz42: they spring to mind like the great american novel
Sandy Petersen: years of dedicated training in the orient.
Hendal: I ask google for all mine
bcooperok: Residual effects from poor decisions and too much George Carlin.
JDigman62: Years of practice
Felimid: Resistance is futile.
Jatoha: I'm not that witty, but I try
daveroswell: years of practice
Harkonnen13: I was born with a gift.
Zarion of Arabel: I don't
WatchmanX2000: practice
jeRm!: no often enough apparently
THORBOY: luck
Frubgarde: One instinctively knows, dear boy.
aleo09: it comes natural
DHEK: It's a gift.
Butterbane: Ahh, that my horse had the speed of your tongue.
Raukodraug: Know your literature and witty and obscure comments will follow.
malloc: google
Aermord: I'm clever, thats why
xlorp: I wisely purchased the SnarkSpark brain module at birth
Chris Page: Boredom.
Greedo: I forget.
scriptorum: Years of cynicism, perfected.
ansc1023: because i can
bigbadsteve: who, me?
FrozenHoHos: It just happens. I'm blessed.
vampywife: it's a natural talent
kspieler: I just pull them out of my....wit.
Shotmagnet: just lucky, I guess
Blacknightjj: brian damnage
ralpheous: years of practice.
brainrob: I obviously don't
Kazin: I have a witty-remark-replying robot next to me. He tells me what to do, or else he hurts me...
Karlsen: Years of training Grasshopper
javelin98: I'm naturally talented.
jasta6: By the grace of GOD!
skrebs: I lick cheese mold off the stomach of my houseboy, Phil, while focusing on my inner child. My inner child then farts and thinks it's funny.
fFish: Genius, and drinking paint.
Unitbuster: The gnomes that juggle chainsaws in our hovercraft shoot me a few sly ones every now and again
axarca: Because. So there!
RandallPeek: Luck.
POvidiusNaso: My wife demands I write them.
skrutsch: I don't.
markus_kt: Google
CharlieWonka: It's just natural
Mease19: I have a book...
melissa: you might want to ask someone else that question
arkibet: I listen to Dennis Leary.
Cavedog_pdx: You can blame my parents.
Nightmare: I don't
heli: Thanks for reading!
berserkley: I'm a sly dog
KnobDoctor: It's a gift.
Nick Danger: I listen to Geekspeak and annotate everything Derk says.
Sceadeau: I pay a monkey
Lord_Prussian: talent
djfilms: I'm a witty guy
rawk: I use my head
4wire: The end justifies the mean.
reddogfive: luck
nexttothemoon: It's all in the wrist.
erli: I blame my brain.
Quest22: I'm just gifted in that manner
jmagnini: i try not to think about it
puffinge: Does this mean you read the answers? Bless you!
stephensj23: I got a big book that I look in every time someone asks a question.
EndersGame: "Wit without employment is a disease." -Robert Burton
AlorielLelyn: Genetics
fellonmyhead: I just have a natural affinity for such things.
shippert: I just gotta be me. Also, they probably aren't that witty.
gashlycrumb: I just read the teleprompter.
netfilterz: *speechless*, uuuh... um... *silence*
Windopaene: I'm much smarter than you
TG Mittler: the voices, the voices....
Sideburn: I'm generally witty - I live up to my last name 'de Wit'
Jackwraith: I read a lot of Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain.
CDRodeffer: I have a PhD in English wit.
geberus: I dont
Dave: Cut-n-paste.
fsumarc: 35 years of practising.
Mordachai: I have played too much Monkey Island...
klarkinhistrep: Plagiarism
BrokenNails_NZ: Is this one of them?
darthcliff: I'm a bot
djlg: Brain fade from answering too many questions.
djflippy: In the immortal words of Beavis, "I...uhh...hmm, hmm...yeah, hmm. Fire! Fire!".
BobDodgerBlue: Dunno
jaredh: sometimes, you just have it.
Shakar: I'm god.
louiseh: Fluctuating serotonin levels.
funkhauser: The voices in my head. They're funny.
HappyProle: Wait, what?
Denise: You'll have to talk to my writers about that.
jttm: Pausing 20 minutes between questions.
wtrollkin2000: I try not to make witty remarks because they can be misinterpreted
Blackwind: years of experience
toucana: natural talent
mschlat: I don't. (The truth is, at most, accidently witty.)
hakko504: I buy them at Buttericks
Gelatinous Goo: I bought a case at Costco
Reloaded: dunno
kimbo: Are you saying my remarks are witty?
TamiWhitsett: I don't
solove: It's easy appealing to the lowest common denominator.
PghArch: Its innate.
Krishna: They come out of a trapdoor in my head
tragicpoet: No clue, they just happen.
Barrow-Wight: A very complicated algorithm
seppo21: I wasn't aware that my random answer generator produced any intelligible, let alone witty, remarks.
silverpenny: I think weird.
EYE of NiGHT: I'm a witty fellow by nature!
ejmowrer: It's a special talent.
Flyspeck23: I... um... dunno.
pedrolisboa: It's a gift
Donkey Thong: Boredom
daw65: Natural talent.
Ryno8: I regularly consult Mr Cranky and Potterama
snoozefest: talentlessness
manowarplayer: It's what I do.
MisterCranky: Committee meetings, followed by stepwise refinement procedures and ISO 9001 standards implementation.
nix342: Bubble gum wrappers
skelebone: I have a little book. All you have to do is flip through the pages and point. Oddly, this is exactly how I came up with this answer, and all of this is written in the book, even these parts I'm writing now.
dietevil: Divine inspiration
ValJor: I'm a natural born genius. So my mother told me...
hacksword: I think about what you would say, and then say the opposite.
shumyum: When will you learn to read?
Geosphere: I'm a writer. It's my job.
chaddyboy_2000: Do you have sand in your vagina?
GuyHill: I was born that way
TD2008YDS: sarcastic friends
gnomehome: There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty.
Septic: 18 years of sparring with my geeky wife
Fawkes: Why thank you.
LudesFactor: they just pop out ...
Debate: Cynicism, lateral thinking and quiet desperation.
CortexBomb: Honestly, it's the muse that should get all the credit...granted, I am feeding the muse, and I did have to get it out of a wheel well of a mini-van which involved the loss of some flesh and pride (Yes, it's a 6-legged cyber squirrel from the bowels of hel
MikeMKH: I guess you can say I am Iraqi
bbenston: Alcohol.
ynnen: I'm just good.